Life As A Trophy Husband
Note - Some of this post is tongue-in-cheek. Kim and I often laugh about my status as an “immigrant trophy husband”. Trust me, we find it hilarious.
I am a trophy husband… or, if you listen to my daughter, a trophy wife. As I’m working to build a bigger client base for consulting and freelancing, Kim is covering most of the household expenses. Sure, I take care of some financials around the house, but make no mistake, she’s the bread winner.
That, my friends, makes me the trophy wife.
Both of us are ok with this. We knew that in my coming over there would be some adjustments and that things would be different to what I was used to as a “red blooded American male”. We spent hours talking about this (and many other difficult subjects) in the months leading up to the decision for me to come to South Africa.
That’s the thing…we talked about it…like really talked.
Even since coming over we’ve continued to talk about it. Just the other day we had a conversation about this. My first consulting contract didn’t get renewed, which was a bit of a punch in the gut, and I just looked at her and said “The reason I do the things I do around the house is because I want to feel like I’m making a contribution.”
This led to yet another grown-up conversation between us.
I’m thankful for the initial contract I had because it allowed us to make some financial moves and pay some things off that came about from buying our house in Stellenbosch.
In a previous post, I talked about how being authorized to work in a foreign country can be a challenge. There’s rules, qualifications, blah, blah, blah… it’s not as simple as some Americans think, that immigrants just show up and “take our jobs”.
So what do I do?
Grocery shop
Cook (There’s a reason I’m known as the kitchen bitch)
Clean (except on the days when the maid come…which will be a post in itself)
Take care of the cats
Run errands
Laundry
…and that’s fine.
I have even worked out a daily schedule to get the household chores done and get the consulting/freelance work I need to get done during the week.
Eventually my client base will allow me to financially contribute at a greater level, but for now…I gotta say…I make one helluva trophy wife.
If you do ever want or get a chance to visit South Africa, I highly recommend you do. It’s a wonderful country full of wonderful people, beautiful scenery, and some of the best food and wine on Earth.
If you do come visit, do consider staying at Highcliffe House in Gordon’s Bay. It’s a beautiful guesthouse with a stunning view of the bay. I promise you won’t be disappointed.
